Stories

Ali Baba: Now the Neighbourhood Chief is Willing to Sweep

It’s a taboo for men in Satando Island if they have to do house chores. They believe that taking care of the children and doing house chores are women’s job.

“From what we know, women are meant to be placed at the back of the house,” said Ali Baba, the Neighborhood Chief of Satando Island. In the island, when husband and wife eat fish, the fish head should be presented to the husband—as he is the head of the family, while the wife only gets the tail.

“Even to get out of the house, you’re prohibited by your husband,” said Diana, Ali Baba’s wife.

Ali Baba’s understanding started to swift when one day, his wife got back home from a gender equality familiarisation program from Women’s School, facilitated by Yayasan Pengkajian Pemberdayaan Masyarakat (YKPM), which supported by MAMPU Program.

“That was when Ibu (the wife) told me that she had been taught about sex and gender. I didn’t know before about gender. Now I know that society creates it,” said Ali Baba, laughing. “Gender can changes because gender is created by the society. What we can’t change is our biological organs.”

“Yes, after I got back home I told my husband, oh, apparently women can work, too,” Diana added.

Ali Baba was so consumed with Diana’s story about the training she had just participated in. He felt that his knowledge was widened. Thus, when Diana got invited to participate in a leadership training held by Women’s School in Makassar, Ali Baba supported her fully. “Though it was hard, I support it, I wish to see Ibu succeed. I am proud that Ibu can get education, usually Ibu is just taking care of the house and the kids,” he said, while glancing over to his wife and smiled.

“He told me that he was happy, too, that his wife could get a new experience,” Diana added with a grin. “In the island, everything is limited. I only know how to cook, how to wash, we’re bored.”

Equipped by the stories told by Diana to him after she got back from her trainings at Women’s School, Ali Baba admitted that he has also started to change his daily habits. “Because now I know, so I understand about this gender issue. So, I already sweep now!” said Ali Baba.

“Before, when he got back from the sea, he went to sleep straight away. He didn’t care about me who was still drying fishes,” Diana said jokingly. “But now he had changed, we can cooperate now. When I am on trainings, he takes care of the kids and cook. We have two children: a boy and a girl.”

On a daily basis, Ali Baba works as a fisherman, but he is also the Neighborhood Chief of Satando Island. The knowledge he has acquired when it comes to gender equality is being applied to the way he governs.

“In the old days, when we have meetings, women did not participate,” he said. “What’s important is that the men are there, the women can wait at the back. Now it’s no longer like that. Even when it comes to taking notes and administration stuff, Ibu helps me already. Before, when there was a guest from the village, I was the only one who meet him.”

“Yes, I used to stay at the back,” Diana added. “I wasn’t important back then. But not anymore. Now if he goes, I go with him. Back then, when there were voluntary village works, only the men participated, now even the women can participate!”

As the Neighborhood Chief for around 300 people, Ali Baba tries to give examples for the men in his island through what he does in his family on a daily basis. There are still many men who are too proud to fetch water, sweep, wash dishes, and help with the house chores. Ali Baba tries to diminish it by doing all those things himself. He also tries to participate in women’s trainings held in his house. Usually, three times a week, the island’s women conduct meetings and gatherings.

“Now the women were no longer prohibited to go out or gather by their husbands. All is allowed to go, and they men have also been warned—because the Neighborhood Chief sets the example,” said Diana happily. “Usually, when we gather, we learn a lot of things, from reproductive organs, free medications and health treatments, gender differentiation, and many more. Now we know about domestic violence, for instance, before we think that it only happens when you get hit. Turns out there are many types of violence. If you’re being secluded or bullied, it’s also a violence. I then tell my husband about this, so he also knows.”

As husband and wife, Ali Baba and Diana knows that they can set the example for Satando Island’s society and showing how to have gender equality in a household.

“It also makes our household more harmonious,” Ali Baba smiled at Diana.

Developed from Most Significant Change story from KAPAL Perempuan YKPM atSatando Island, South Sulawesi Province.