Stories

Fighting against Domestic Violence with PESADA

I am Adelina, a woman head of family (Pekka) who works as a farmer. I live in North Sumatera with my three children. We were a happy familly until my husband left us in 2013. I watched a woman destroyed my marriage and my sacrifices in those seven years burned.

Since then, my husband changed and often violated me. I felt embarrassed of what happened in our marriage, I could not share it with anyone. The traumatizing experience left mark in my heart. I often blamed myself and assumed that my husband left me due to my incapability in doing household and mantaining our marriage.

In 2014, I joined Perkumpulan Sada Ahmo (PESADA) and Credit Union (CU) Sirisirisi. Through both organisations, I met other women who shared the same experience with me. We shared stories and encouraged each other. I finally saw the silver lining. I realised that my husband left me because he did not respect me as a wife and a woman. I had to stop blaming myself. I am thankful, God gave me a way to end this abusive relationship.

Other than joining PESADA, I also become an active member of Women’s Voices for Justice (SPUK) in Sirisirisi. There, I saw the lives of women who were abandoned and abused by their husbands. I was moved by their stories. I encouraged the domestic violence victims to fight back and speak up.

Seeing the experience of these women makes me realise that a way to raise awareness of domestic violence issues began from family. Therefore, as a woman head of family (Pekka), I educate my children to appreciate, respect and protect their family.

Now, my first son has been able to do domestic tasks such as washing dishes, folding and storing clothes and taking care of his siblings. In the future, I hope they will grow to be a responsible person.

I gave sex education and taught my children to respect their reproductive organs of women and men. I always encourage them to speak up about everything, especially issues that may be bothering them.  I hope it can reduce the cases of domestic violence in the generations to come.

I believe our future will be more beautiful.

* Completion of Most Significant Changes written by Dewi Hairani