Stories

KPI Activities Empower Wives to Have Positive Communication with Husbands

I am Asnimar, a middle aged housewife. I used to be afraid of my husband but thanks to The Indonesian Women’s Coalition for Justice and Democracy (KPI), I am no longer afraid of him.

In our marriage, my husband used to control everything. I felt my rights being violated. The tension increased when my husband who worked as a truck driver, started drinking and gambling. He would never let me go out of the house without him. He even yelled at me and threw a tantrum.

One day, my friends asked me to go out. I carefully sneaked out to meet them. I thought we would just have a casual meeting. It turned out they brought me to KPI. KPI members explained their agenda and what they could do to help women in my community.

In KPI meetings, we exchanged various information and ideas to overcome our problems. Sometimes, we held discussions with religious leaders on raising children and marriage issues. Those discussions also provided knowledge on how to establish good communication with our spouses.

Armed with the knowledge, I tried to communicate and advice my husband on how we should manage our marriage. I also expressed my disappointments and told him that he cannot throw a fit with no specific reasons.

After doing a two-way communication on regular basis, my husband realised the importance of protecting my feeling and giving my rights as a woman and a wife. He began to make rational decisions. Now, he allows me to go out and have my KPI meetings. He even gave me mobile phone to text or call him regularly.

Since then, I actively followed the practical skills trainings conducted by KPI. One of them is training on how to make Sala Lauk, West Sumatra’s famous traditional food. We successfully sold Sala Lauk in stalls around our house. KPI also taught us to grow mushroom in our village. We got enough additional income by growing mushroom.

Other than that, KPI also brought positive change in me. I found courage in myself. I became an active member of KPI. When MAMPU conducted 5 years program which required data of villagers in my area, I voluntarily helped them. I met the officials in village office and collected the data for three months. I never thought that they would grant me IDR 100,000 for each family listed. I felt grateful since I can help my family meet our needs through the additional income.

Now, we are a happy family. My husband keeps his words. He is committed to be a better person. He also showers me with affection. The best part is I can contribute to greater communities in my village.

* Completion of Most Significant Changes written by Nela Nofrita of the city of Padang, West Sumatra